Goodbye for Now

As of today, I am taking a break from this blog for an undetermined amount of time. There has been no drama, no hate mail, no privacy issues. In short, I realized I have made time on my computer an idol in my life. I've put it before the Lord and my time with Him. I didn't mean to, but little by little, I have given it priority. I started this as a way to update friends and family on our adoption process. Then it became a place to write out my grief after we lost Cy, a place to show people that believers can grieve and still love the Lord (even if not using all the cliches the church so often uses). I praised Him in my grief, and I praised Him in our gratitude after Cy came home. From there, my readership grew, and I had dreams of becoming a mommy blogger who could make some money doing this thing I love. I could write like I love to do and make some money through ads. Recently, my blog stats have gone up and advertisers have started contacting me directly, but in that same time, God also contacted me directly about my priorities. His voice drowns out all others.

I really enjoy connecting with people in the "outside world," especially on days when the boys are driving me nutty. I like telling you funny stories about the boys, my thoughts on adoption, and whatever else is on my mind. More than that, I like to hear what you have to say back to me. Your comments and emails have been so meaningful to me over the last 2.5 years. Thank you for spending time here, for loving me on my bad days, and for giving me a chance to write and be vulnerable in these years. I don't know if I'll come back or not. I'll see what God says about that.

If you have any questions for me (adoption, family, painting, etc), please email me at mbwc@cox.net. Also I will continue to update my painting blog as I fill orders.

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the saints,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:17-19

Answer Time

And now the questions from my faithful readers and my long-awaited answers. Read 'em and weep. Wait, that doesn't really make sense here. Umm... just read 'em if you want to and enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
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1. Does your husband ever fart and hold your head under the covers? If so, do you think that a swift kick in the balls is proper retaliation...once you've gotten your breath back?

He does not. He knows better. But actions have consequences, and I believe your idea is an appropriate response. Good luck with that.

2. Do you ever go and lock yourself in the bathroom, even if you don't need to pee or poop, just to get away from the constant "Mommy, I need/want..."? Please tell me that I'm not the only person to do this from time to time.

I can tell you that you're not the only one who does this. I typically don't lock myself in a room, but I ask (read: make) them go play in their rooms separately so I don't have to break up fights and can have a moment to breathe.

3. Do you ever feel like your job as a mom/wife is "unimportant" when it comes to other people that work? Like, they look down on you or something?

Sure. Just like I'm pretty sure there are moms who work outside the home who feel guilty that they aren't staying home like I am. I get jealous of having adult conversations and having the money and reason to wear cute clothes, but I chose this life because it's what I feel like is best for OUR family. I wouldn't change a thing. We're all doing the best we can.

4. Do you ever call your house phone from your cell phone and answer?

Yes. Once. But I didn't answer after I looked at the caller ID.

5. Do you ever think about or dread the day that Cy uses his adoption as a tool for rebellion? The words "You're not my mother" haunt me. I can picture the whole horrific and extraordinarily hurtful scene with Hannah in teenage form. I guess I want to know if I'm crazy or normal. My hope is that she's so well adjusted that it's not ever an issue, but I don't know if that's realistic.

I also dread her wanting to find and connect one day with her birth family - even though logically I understand what her need would be for this. I know how it will make me feel.

Do you think about this stuff, too?

Definitely. I think a lot about Cy's adoption and how he will cope and adjust to that. I don't know how he will react or what kinds of things will come out of his mouth when he gets older. But having an older biological son, I've already heard, "You're a bad mommy. I wish you were someone else's mommy!" And that was from a 4-year-old because I made him take a nap. So... they're gonna hurt me. I know that. I read a lot about adoption, how to talk with him about it, and how to deal with my own emotions concerning it. I pray that by the time Cy's old enough to come up with that junk, I'll be prepared. If he uses it against me at some point, it will hurt. But as with most of their words and actions, I'll have to remind myself that it's not about me.

As far as him seeking out his birth family, we are still in contact with them and hope he will eventually get to connect with them in person. I'm sure it will be emotional for me, but I feel like it's beneficial for him and them. That is in our OUR particular situation, but I can see how there would be circumstances in which I would feel uncomfortable for Cy to connect with them. I'm grateful that we don't have to deal with that.

6.Where is your favorite place to shop for boy's clothing? Do you shop in town, online, or catalog?

My very favorite is GapKids. I love to dress my boys like little men from the very beginning, and they have adorable clothes. I also like Mini Boden, a catalog and website. I aso stock up at Old Navy for play clothes and basics.

7.When are we going to go shopping/have lunch again? GAP coupon for 30% off starts tomorrow....

See previous answer. 30% off at Gap? I'm in!

8. what does your daily schedule look like? I'm trying to come up with a good schedule for myself and the kids - so we can incorporate the chores and quality time together!

I don't have a set schedule for us. Everyday is different with preschool, Bible study, and other days at home. I usually iron and clean while they nap (except vacuuming because it's too loud). I do laundry as they play. So I'm not super-helpful on this question. Sorry!

**On a side note, Hank the fish has passed on. Also, I have an announcement coming this week whenever I have time to write it. It's nothing exciting, so don't hold your breath. But I'm going to be changing things around here for a while.

Planning a Vacation?

Matt and I have a short-term timeshare and are getting ready to list most of our weeks for rent. We just can't use them all with our kids being so small still. I'll give you guys the first choice, if you're interested. We have weeks at all-inclusive resorts in Cabo and Cancun, and we have more weeks with RCI, which is worldwide and includes cruises. If you are interested, please let me know. We're getting rid of these soon! I'd love to rent them directly to you rather than using an online middle-man. Email me if you have questions or any interest at mbwc@cox.net.

Thanks!

Q&A, Part 2

You guys really came through for me (and my readers) on that last post. Thank you! Now it's your chance to ask me all the burning questions you have for me. I can't even imagine what they would be, but shoot! I'll do my best to answer them, or just tell you I don't know. You can leave a comment in this post, or you can email me at mbwc@cox.net (link on sidebar). I'll wait until I get several, then I'll get on it.

I've got some more posts swimming around in this head of mine, so I may post those first if they come together but I won't forget. Ask away.

I hope you had a great Easter!

Q & A Time

I want to try something a little different this week. I'm going to have a little Q&A. First, I'll ask you questions, then you can ask all the burning questions you have for me. :) I'll list my questions here, and you can answer in the comments section so everyone can benefit from your answers or by email at mbwc@cox.net (there's a link on my sidebar). Then in a couple of days, I'll post again asking for your questions, which you can ask in the same manner. I don't even know what questions you would have for me, but this is your chance! Adoption, ministry, motherhood, marriage, recipes, ummm... grammar? I have no idea, but ask away! I'm no expert, but I'll answer what I can. :)

This is a perfect time for all the lurkers to come out of hiding. I know you have lots of wisdom to share. If this is fun for all of us, we'll just have to do it more often. OK, here are my questions. A lot are about parenting, but you don't have to be a parent to answer.

1. Do you make up the beds again after naps? I'm so tired of making up beds.

2. I'm trying to mentally prepare for Kindergarten, which is still a year away! I'm a stay-at-home mom, so it's hard for me to fathom having everyone up and ready and lunches packed and to school by 8:00! That is so early. I know, people who work outside the home have zero sympathy at this point. :) I'll have a 3-yr-old at home still when Will starts. So, do you get everyone (including yourself) completely ready and out the door in time for school, or do you just go in your PJs with your younger child(ren) in PJs too?

3. Will is 4 and is starting to outgrow his naps. I'm having a hard time knowing how to handle that. I still make him lie in his bed for rest time everyday, even if he doesn't go to sleep, because he has to do that at preschool too. And I need the break. He gets up over and over and tells me he's not sleepy or whatever. I finally started telling him to stay in his bed until a certain time, and if he's not asleep by then, he can get up. Any other suggestions? I'm tired of fighting it... but sometimes he'll take a 2-3 hour nap. So I can't give it up completely.

4. Our kids have started to expect gifts and toys from us and others. We don't give them random stuff all the time, and I often tell Will that he will have to wait for his birthday when he asks for something. I think this is pretty normal for this age, but it's driving me crazy. I want kids who are grateful. How do you teach an attitude of gratitude? I don't want Will to say, "Did you bring me a surprise?" when my parents get home from a trip or act disappointed when he doesn't get what he wanted for his birthday. Make sense? What do you do with your kids? I do not want them to focus on stuff. We give away toys often. We talk about kids who don't have any trains or cars... or food! It's just hard for kids this age to grasp it. Tell me what kinds of things you do to help your children start learning to appreciate what they have and realize how blessed they are.

5. If you were a SAHM before your kids were in school, did you start working outside the home when they went to school? How was that? Were you still available for field trips and other school-related activities you wanted to participate in? Can you tell I'm totally freaked out by the idea that my sweet Will is going to start school in a year? And I'll still have Cy at home for 2 more years!

6. At what point could you take your kids on a vacation and have it actually be pleasant? Ours are 4 and 2, and we just aren't brave enough yet. For one thing, it would take us a long time to drive to a beach, which is what we would like to do with them. The drive time in itself is scary. Then we still have one who must nap everyday. They're both in big beds now, which was our first main hurdle. We didn't want to mess with a crib or pack-n-play on a trip. What were your experiences like? What's a good age to start? We did take Will last year for a weekend trip, and he did really well. We had a blast with him, but he's the more laid back of the two... and one is just easier than two no matter what!

OK, so give me with your wisdom and experiences. Other people can learn from your answers as well. I can't wait to see what you all say. Oh, and start thinking about what you want to know about me. :)

Meet Hank

This is Hank. (Everyone: Hi, Hank!)

He lives in outer space. Naturally.

The boys love Hank. Sometimes too much.
There's a lot of this.

And this.

"Hank, can you see my balloon? It's red. That's my favorite color. Do you like red? Do you like my red balloon, Hank? Hank! What are you doing? Mommy, Hank isn't looking at my balloon. Mommy? Mommy. Mommy. Mommy! Why isn't Hank looking at me? Hank, did you see my balloon? Cy, get your hand out of there!"

Welcome to your new home, Hank.

Red Envelope Day

Have you heard about Red Envelope Day? It's today, March 31. The Red Envelope Project is a grass-roots organization encouraging people to send empty red envelopes to the White House today. On the front, it is addressed to President Obama and on the back, it should read: "This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world."

If you don't have time to find and mail yours today, go to their website. They'll do it for you! Let's make sure our voices are heard.

I sent 10 in honor of our sweet Cy, who is here today because his mother chose to give him life.